So these are a few things that have been on my mind lately. I try to talk to Mike about them, but he doesn`t understand so i thought i would put them on here :)
I am so scared to have more kids. I know this is lame because i already have one and it shouldn`t be as hard the second time around, but everyone says that if your first sleeps really good your second won`t. Everyone says that your second is not the same as the first, which i can see, but i also think that if i do the same things with my second with their sleeping habits won`t they be a good sleeper too?? Also i know this is pretty lame, but i don`t want to be the cliche family that has a new baby every 2 years. I want to be able to enjoy my sweet baby girl that i have now and not worry that in less than a year i have to start trying to get pregnant again!! Ahh!!! I do not want to be pregnant any time soon! I have been working my butt off, literally, to get the baby weight off and i don`t want to have worked this hard just to put most of it back on and start all over. I don`t really mind if i have like a 3 year gap in between my first 2 kids cause it`s not like they won`t like each other when they grow up cause age doesn`t really matter when you get older. I also don`t want to be one of those mom`s that you see at the store with a million kids she can`t handle. It was hard enough for me to decide to have one, i can`t imagine myself with 2,3, or 4! I just want to take my time and enjoy each child and each stage. I want to be able to be a happy mom that has time for herself, which might be a little selfish on my part, but every mom needs her own time.
I also have been really wanting to be able to do something fun. I want to go on a fun vacation, don`t get me wrong i love St. George and being down there, but I`m talking like Hawaii or a cruise. Even California and the beach will do. I`m tired of not having the money to do the things i want to do or go where i want to go. My parents are going on a cruise in like a week and i am so bummed that i don`t get to go! Maybe i am just being a baby and i need to look at what i have around me, but i see all these other couples doing fun fun things and i want to get out and do something! Maybe it`s the fact that i have been bored at home all week that i just need some good friends to do things with. I feel llike i am the only person in the world thats not busy or has some sort of hobby. I need some suggestions. Do i try to go back to school? Do i start sewing and make a bunch of things and try to sell them? Should i get a job just to feel busy? Maybe i`m a little lost right now.
Sorry to be sort of whiney and talking about things that i really shouldn`t worry about, but i just have a lot on my mind and no one to talk to about it:)
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2 comments:
"Live like no one else now, so that you can live like no one else later." I have been wanting to go on a fun vacation too. At least you have been on one cruise since you've been married. I have not been on one! I think it is best to save your money so that you can go on a nice cruise or vacation later. It's not like because you have kids you can't still go on a fun vacation later! It might be expensive to take the kids but you can go with just Mike!
I am so sorry that you are going through such a rough time. Paul and I had to live with my parents for almost 2 years. Porter was even born there. Even though it wasn't the best situation, it really helped us stay afloat while Paul finished school. It's a great idea to help save money..even though it hard. If you ever need someone to talk to or hang out with, call me! I am always home and I would love to see you more often. Also, don't worry about what everyone else is doing. You have to do what is best for you and your family. If that means spacing your kids out 10 years apart..that is totally fine! :)If you ever need a babysitter so that you and Mike can get away somewhere, we would LOVE to babysit!!! :) Hang in there with everything. Love you!
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