Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Moving in with the In-Laws

So we have decided to move in with my in-laws instead. Let me tell you how we decided on this.
We went over to my mom`s house on Saturday to help her clear out some stuff in her basement to we could actually walk in the rooms down there! We get there and i look at everything and do not want to move it! I am completely overwhelmed by how much stuff is down there! So Mike gets the room cleared out that he and I would be sleeping in. We wanted to paint it since it is a terrible shade of green. Both of my parents act a little weird about this and are suprised that we wanted to paint down there and actually make it more of a home for us. So I am sitting down there and looking around at all the stuff we have to do and not wanting to do any of it. I think part of it was that it made it real that i actually have to leave my home and move back in with my parents. So we actually make some pretty good progress on the whole thing and we can actually walk in the room we are going to put Embree in. We decide to be done for the day and go to dinner with my sister and her husband. later that night we are all sitting around talking and i ask my mom if we can paint another wall down there that would be where we have our TV and couch. Well i really think that was the straw that broke the camels back. Needless to say i went home in tears because i am stressed out enough right now with everthing that is going on that i don`t need to add another project to the list of packing my moms basement and storing it when i have my own house to pack and find a storage unit for.
So anyway we had origianally planned on moving in with Mike`s parents, but for some reason decided against it. I think it was cause i would be the one that would be home all the time and it would just be easier to do that at my Mom`s where i felt comfortable, but now that Mike is home more often it will be better. We also were told that we were more than welcome which is what i really needed to hear because i do not want my little family to be a burden on anyone! Plus we wouldn`t have to move as much stuff out of their basement and it is set up down there for someone to live in since two of his sisters have already lived there with their spouses. We also would not be on top of anyone down there and would have a little bit more privacy and when i say a little bit more i mean like no privacy, but we are both willing to deal with that if it means getting back on our feet! Really its not going to be an ideal situation for anyone!
So i think that living with his parents has taken a load of my back because it won`t be so much work!! I really am sad to leave my house, but i know that we will have fun and be in a better situation in a few months than we are right now. I feel like we are going backwards and we are poor newlyweds agian, but this time with a baby! It defeniatly will be a journey but i wouldn`t want to take it with anyone else but my sweet husband! It will defeniatly be hard on our marriage, but we only have each other! Plus we are kind of stuck with each other for eternity :)

Friday, June 4, 2010

I need a release!

So these are a few things that have been on my mind lately. I try to talk to Mike about them, but he doesn`t understand so i thought i would put them on here :)
I am so scared to have more kids. I know this is lame because i already have one and it shouldn`t be as hard the second time around, but everyone says that if your first sleeps really good your second won`t. Everyone says that your second is not the same as the first, which i can see, but i also think that if i do the same things with my second with their sleeping habits won`t they be a good sleeper too?? Also i know this is pretty lame, but i don`t want to be the cliche family that has a new baby every 2 years. I want to be able to enjoy my sweet baby girl that i have now and not worry that in less than a year i have to start trying to get pregnant again!! Ahh!!! I do not want to be pregnant any time soon! I have been working my butt off, literally, to get the baby weight off and i don`t want to have worked this hard just to put most of it back on and start all over. I don`t really mind if i have like a 3 year gap in between my first 2 kids cause it`s not like they won`t like each other when they grow up cause age doesn`t really matter when you get older. I also don`t want to be one of those mom`s that you see at the store with a million kids she can`t handle. It was hard enough for me to decide to have one, i can`t imagine myself with 2,3, or 4! I just want to take my time and enjoy each child and each stage. I want to be able to be a happy mom that has time for herself, which might be a little selfish on my part, but every mom needs her own time.
I also have been really wanting to be able to do something fun. I want to go on a fun vacation, don`t get me wrong i love St. George and being down there, but I`m talking like Hawaii or a cruise. Even California and the beach will do. I`m tired of not having the money to do the things i want to do or go where i want to go. My parents are going on a cruise in like a week and i am so bummed that i don`t get to go! Maybe i am just being a baby and i need to look at what i have around me, but i see all these other couples doing fun fun things and i want to get out and do something! Maybe it`s the fact that i have been bored at home all week that i just need some good friends to do things with. I feel llike i am the only person in the world thats not busy or has some sort of hobby. I need some suggestions. Do i try to go back to school? Do i start sewing and make a bunch of things and try to sell them? Should i get a job just to feel busy? Maybe i`m a little lost right now.
Sorry to be sort of whiney and talking about things that i really shouldn`t worry about, but i just have a lot on my mind and no one to talk to about it:)

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

I have got alot on my mind!

Wow it has been a long time and i just wanted to share a few thoughts and update a few things if anyone even follows this anymore!

It has been a hard year for us!! Mike lost his job last May and hasn`t been able to find a good one since. We are in the process of doing a short sale on our house because we can`t afford to make the payments anymore. We got an offer on it last month and most likely will have to be out before the end of the month. We have decided to move in with my parents. I really am having mixed emotions about it cause it`s not going to be easy on anyone. I think we will have a really hard time because we have been on our own, in our own house for the past 5 years. We also haven`t had to rely on anyone, but ourselves for support and help so it has been hard.

We have had to give back our (my) Mazda to the bank because we couldn`t make the payments on it anymore so we are down to the truck and my Dad`s old Honda that he gave to us. I don`t know what we would have done if he hadn`t given it to us. I`m so grateful and honestly i like driving it! I was really bummed to have to give our car back, but i know it is for the best and it has saves us alot of money so it was worth it! I don`t really mind driving the truck either. It`s big and hard to park, but it is also fun to see the looks on peoples faces when i pull up!!

The one good thing that has happened to us is my sweet Embree! I am so grateful to have her! I love her more than anything!! She is such a good baby and i count my blessings every day! She was a very fussy baby at first and i thought she was a little colicy, but then i just happened to lose my milk and so she had to have formula and she stopped being so fussy! I think i just didnt make enough milk for her so she was always hungary! I am actually glad i lost my milk. It`s a good bonding experience and all, but she is a fussy eater to this day and for some reason it was really hard for me. I guess i was expecting it to be easy cause of my sister and friends made it look easy. I just think it is easier for some people then others. But anyway she is so much fun and i love being a Mom! I really think that being a mom is what i was meant to do. She is growing up way to fast though! She started crawling at 6 months and has been going ever since! She says Dada and Momma and i love it! She really is the most cuddly baby to! She lets me cuddle her all the time and i just can`t stop kissing her!!

Embree will be getting 3 new cousins in August and September. All 3 of them are boys so she will still be the only girl on both sides which i love! My mom also loves that she has a little grandaughter! She is such a big help to me with her! If she can tell i am frustrated or need a break she will help me without even asking. She feeds her and changes her diaper more times than i can count! My mom is an awesome Grandma!

My parents have also helped us so much through the past year! When Embree was born my mom came over and cleaned my house for me and took our laundry home and did it for me. She also came and made dinner and cleaned me house! For Christmas my parents did sort of a sub for Santa for us. I can`t even tell you how much that meant to us! The holidays were hard for us and that made it so much better!! My parents have also taken us to dinner countless number of times and helped us with other things we have needed. Family really steps up when they know someone is struggling!! Mike has also received alot of side jobs from family members that has helped us pay bills and other things.

I think out of all of our struggles and everything that we have been through in the past year we have really come to rely on each other and our family. We realize that material things don`t matter and when everything else is gone you still have each other and your family. So thank you to everyone that has helped us throught this past year!! You have no idea how much it has helped and how grateful we are for your kindness! Hopefully things will start to get better for us and we will get back on our feet sometime soon. We are just trying to stay positive througout even though it is hard and we sure do have our days!

Sorry for such a long post, but alot has happened!!

Monday, June 15, 2009

The past few months...

I just wanted to update everyone on what has been happening in our life the past month and a half.
First the baby is doing great. We went in for my check up on the first of June and the doctor said everything looks fine with her and I am right were i need to be. Also i did the diabetes test and luckily my blood sugar was low and dont have it! I am going on my 29th week already. I cant believe how fast it is going! She will be here before we know it!
About a month ago Mike lost his job. The economy just got to hard for the shop to survive and they had to shut down. Right now we are not sure whether is will be permanent or not. It is kind of a bittersweet thing because Mike has always loved working with hid Dad and being able to see him everyday, but at the same time he is looking forward to a new start and knows that anything is possible right now.For some reason Mike and I were not scared that the shop went down, we both were comforted that everything would be okay and work out they way it should. I feel so blessed at the way things have turned out for us.Luckily Mike has been able to focus his time on Efusjon and try to build up his business where he wants it to be and hopefully in a few months he will be doing so well with it that he will be able to just do this full time. For right now he has accepted a job as a salesman for Winder Dairy which he starts next week. He is excited to start and we are hoping it will be a great job for him.
The week after Mike lost his job, we went on a family vacation to St. George to give us a little break from reality. One night Mike`s mom called us about 3:30 in the morning to let us know that his little sister Jessica was going to lose her twin boys. They were to heavy for her cervix and it had ripped. Because she was only 20 weeks along there was nothing they could do to save the babies. Jessica had them at about 6:00 that morning and they lived for about 40 minutes. Jessica and Jason gave them names and a blessing. They named them Mathew and Parker. That news was devastating to me because she was only six weeks behind me and it was very hard to think that i could lose my baby too. Jessica and Jason have been so strong throughout this whole thing and I know it is because they know that they will be able to see them again and raise them. They truly are stronger then i think i could ever be. I cant imagine how people are able to deal with things like that without the gospel in their lives.
We also found out that my sweet cousin Britney was diagnosed with leukemia. The symptoms of it came on very fast and she had to be in the hospital for about 4 weeks. Luckily her body has responded positively to all of the treatment and she was able to leave the hospital early and go home. Britney is such a strong and positive person and i know that is the reason that she is going to beat this. She had to shave her head a couple weeks ago and to be honest i was a little nervous to see her, but i saw her for the first time since she had done it on saturday and she does not act like anything is bothering her. Even though she was exausted and not feeling well she still had a smile on her face and a hug and something sweet to say about everyone. I love my Britney and i know that she will make it through this! She has such a support behind her, great family and friends!
Well that is what has been going on in my life the past month and a half. Some good and some bad, but i feel like with everything that has happened I could not be happier. I am so thankful for where i am in my life and the people that i surround myself with. I am also very thankful for my husband, we are a team and i dont think i would be as positive about all these things that have happened without his love and support!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

It`s a GIRL!

Us at my mom`s the Sunday before Easter
Us at my Grandma`s house on Easter Sunday

We found out last week that we are having a GIRL! We are so excited and i cant wait to start getting things ready for her to come! I cant believe how fast this pregnancy is going, im already half way through and i think it will go even faster now that the summer is coming and we know what we are having!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Happy Spring!

Hello! Im finally updating my blog! Its been awhile.
So the past few months have been interesting! On New Year`s day we found out that we are FINALLY pregnant! I took the test early in the morning and I think the whole day we were just in shock! I kept it to myself all day and finally at the end of the day we told our families. Mike came up with this great idea to take a picture of out dog in a shirt that said, "Im a sister!" and we wrapped it up in a box, like a present. We really thought that it would be a little more obvious than it was, but neither one of our families understood, my Mom actually thought that we were giving her our dog for some reason! So we ended up just telling everyone. Im due August 29th.
So far it has been really hard. Being sick all the time is not fun and you dont realize how bad it can really be until you are actually in it. But the first time you hear the heartbeat is when you really feel like, okay there really is something growing inside me, im not just sick!
Im done with the sick part of the pregnancy though now and now i am starting to really enjoy it. My belly is starting to grow and im starting to show, but im in that awkward stage where you just look fat and your pants are starting to not fit! I went to St. George with my family last weekend and all the pants i brought did not fit comfortably so i went out and bought me a pair of maternity pants and they are amazing!!
I had my monthly check up yesterday and the doctor said that i am measuring at 19 weeks when i am actually 17 weeks, so that was pretty fun! We got to hear the heartbeat again and this time we got to schedule the appointment to find out what we are having!! We find out in three weeks and we cannot wait! We both think it is a boy, but you never know. We will be happy with whatever it is!
We couldnt be happier with our lives right now! I feel like i am the luckiest person in the world. I really do have the best husband anyone could have. He has been nothing but sweet and patient with me ever since i got pregnant, he does everything for me! When i was sick for those few months he did laundry, cleaned the house, did the dishes and even made dinner. He is such a hard worker and his main goal in life is that i am happy. so far he has succeded! He is so excited to be a Dad, every once in awhile he will just touch my stomach and say "baby" or even talk to my belly even thought until this week the baby couldnt hear him. He really is my best friend and i cannot wait to bring a new life into this world with him. I could not have asked for a better husband, we just get closer and closer every day. I am so grateful we will be together for eternity!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Merry Christmas!

Hello everyone! I have not been able to get into my blog for awhile because of some computer problems i have been having so i thought i would just update everyone on what we have been up to in the past few months!
Well we are finally settled into our new house and we love it! its a little bit far from things, but we like it anyway! We also found a renter for our Draper house which was a complete anwer to our prayers and i think we got lucky with our renter because she has been easy to deal with and is one of the nicest people you will meet. It was just meant to be.
In October Mike and I went on a little vacation to yellowstone for his birthday. We stayed in West Yellowstone, which is in Montana. It was so fun to get away and just be the two of us. I am very lucky to have a best friend like him. Anyway, while we were there we checked out all the hot pots or "stinkies" as we like to call them. We also saw a ton of wildlife including elk, buffalo, wolves and a first for both of us, a bear!! We both had never seen one in the wild before and were so excited when we finally did! The only bad thing was that we couldnt really get any good pictures because he was behind some trees. We also went into Jackson Hole and had alot of fun looking at all the shops. I love yellowstone and we decided to make that trip a tradition.
We also had a very fun Halloween we dressed up and went to a party at my Aunt`s and then we all headed up to Park City for the weekend and that was alot of fun! I love my family we have so much fun together.
Also the night we went to my aunt`s i had let Mr. Kitty outside to play for awhile and he never came back. I was heart broken! i stayed up all night worried about him and kept driving around the neighborhood that night, but with no luck. I still miss him alot, I feel like i lost my 2yr old son or something. You dont realize how much they actually become a part of your family till their gone :( Mike wasnt to torn up about it, that cat never liked him!
We had an amazing Thanksgiving. We went to Mike`s family for a bit to say hi to everyone and then went to my side of the family for dinner. November wasnt a very eventfull month.
At the beginning of this month we went to St. George with my family and did our yearly Christmas shopping trip. It was really nice to be down there. The week after we got back my cousin Emily got married. I have to say it was a little weird just because we have grown up together and she is like one of my sisters. I am so happy for her and I know she is extremely happy. Throughout the whole ceremony i was crying like a baby!
Other then that i have just been shopping and getting ready for Christmas. I still cant beleive that tomorrow is Christmas Eve. This year has flown by.
I do have to say i am very excited for the new year and to have a fresh start, but there is nothing about this past year that i would change. Here are a few goals i would like to acheive in the new year:

Start a family
Pay off our debt
Spend more time with family
Keep in touch with old friends

I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!